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This website discusses domestic and family violence and coercive control.
Call Triple Zero (000) and ask for Police if you are in a dangerous or life-threatening situation.
If you don't want to speak to the police you can also call DV Connect on 1800 811 811 or 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week).
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What is domestic and family violence?
Domestic and family violence (DFV) is when one person in an intimate or romantic relationship or former relationship, or a family or informal carer relationship uses violence or abuse to dominate and control the other person.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is at the heart of DFV. It’s more than a form of DFV. It’s a pattern of abusive behaviours over time, that can be physical or non-physical, with the intention to hurt, humiliate, isolate, frighten, or threaten another person in order to control or dominate them.
Coercive control is the underpinning dynamic of domestic and family violence.
DFV and coercive control are serious and can affect anyone regardless of their age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, ability, or location. However, most DFV is directed towards women by their male partner or ex-partner and coercive and controlling behaviours are almost exclusively used by men towards women.
There is no place for abusive or controlling behaviour in a healthy relationship.
It is never your fault if you experience DFV and coercive control. It is the responsibility of the person using controlling or abusive behaviours to stop hurting those they say they care about.
Signs that someone may be experiencing domestic and family violence or coercive control
Most people are aware of the physical signs of DFV. However, the non-physical signs of coercive and controlling behaviours can be harder to spot You may suspect that a person you know is experiencing domestic and family violence and coercive control but are not sure. Here are some possible signs of coercive control.
Coercive control
- Is an ongoing pattern of behaviour
Coercive control is a pattern of abusive behaviours. Sometimes these behaviours are subtle and can be difficult to identify on their own, but when they are repeated and start to form a pattern, they can seriously impact the person's safety, health and wellbeing. - Can be both physical and non-physical abuse
Coercive control can include multiple different forms of abuse, such as physical violence, sexual violence, and threats of physical violence. It can also include or be a combination of physical and non-physical forms of violence, such as emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial control, and social isolation. - Results in a loss of choice and decision making for the victim/survivor
Coercive control is deliberate. The tactics used are designed to control the other person. It can be disguised or justified as an act of love but is intended to manipulate and control the other person. - Can be hard to identify
Coercive and controlling behaviours are often subtle and may seem insignificant to an observer. However, they have a totally different meaning and impact on the victim/survivor. Adapted to manipulate or control the individual person targeted by the abuser, it can be difficult to spot the signs and seek help. It can also be difficult for people who face barriers to reporting violence to recognise their experiences as abusive and seek help.