Sexual consent explained
What is affirmative consent?
Consent is about respect and mutual communication. It’s a voluntary and informed agreement between equal partners to participate in a sexual act. That means everyone genuinely wants to take part and makes sure their partner/s do too.
| Consent is: | |
|---|---|
Free and voluntary | Everyone involved genuinely wants to engage in the sexual activity. Forcing or pressuring someone into a sexual activity through intimidation, threats, control or abuse of power is not consensual. |
Specific and informed | Consent should be discussed and agreed before every sexual act. Just because someone has consented to something, such as kissing, it does not mean they have consented to something else. Everyone must understand what they’re agreeing to and includes how a specific act is conducted, including using protection and contraception. |
Ongoing and mutual | Just because someone has said yes to something in the past, or to a different sexual activity, it does not mean you can assume they consent to something in the future. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Everyone must genuinely want to engage in the sexual activity. Keep checking in and respect everyone’s decision. |
Reflects capacity | Everyone must have the capacity to reach, communicate or withhold consent. That means if someone is unconscious or asleep, they cannot consent. Things like alcohol or drugs can affect a person's ability to consent, for example they may be too heavily intoxicated to understand what they're consenting to or unable to communicate consent. |
| Consent is not: | |
|---|---|
Assumed | Even if you're in a relationship or have had sexual experiences with someone before, consent must be discussed and agreed together every time. Just because someone hasn’t said ‘no’ or seems be ‘turned on’ or physically aroused, you cannot assume they are consenting. |
Present when someone lacks capacity | If a person is asleep, unconscious, or does not know what they are consenting to, there is no consent. If a person is heavily affected by drugs and/or alcohol, they may not be able to consent. Everyone must consider their partner’s capacity to understand and agree to a sexual activity. |
Agreed to where there's force | You cannot pressure, threaten or coerce someone into a sexual activity. |
Silence or lack of resistance | A lack of resistance is not consent. If a person does not say or do something to communicate they are agreeing to participate in a sexual activity, they are not consenting. If someone is frozen, silent, or appears disengaged that’s a sign to stop, check in and respect their decision. |
A one-way transaction | Consent is a conversation that keeps going throughout a sexual experience, and everyone can withdraw their consent at any time. If someone decides they don’t want to keep going, stop and respect their choice. Talking about consent is key to healthy and positive sexual experiences and how we make our partner/s feel safe and respected. |
When should you ask for consent
Consent is an important part of all sexual experiences and all kinds of sexual intimacy – not just penetrative sex.
That means asking before you do things like:
- Touch their body
- Have them perform a sexual act on you
- Kiss them
- Take or share intimate photos of them
- Perform oral or anal sex.
What people like or don’t like can be very different to you. That’s why consent is all about communication and talking about you and your partner/s likes, dislikes and boundaries.
Everyone can change their mind
At any point of a sexual activity everyone can withdraw consent. Even if they’ve said yes at the beginning or in the past, they can say ‘no’ or show they are no longer consenting at any time. If someone decides they’ve changed their mind, even if you want to keep going, you must stop and respect their choice. Being supportive when someone withdraws their consent is how you create a safe and positive environment.
Who can give consent
In Queensland, people aged 16 and over can legally consent.
People who are asleep or unconscious cannot consent to sex. People who are heavily intoxicated by drugs and/or alcohol may not be able to consent depending on their level of intoxication. When talking about consent with your partner/s, you need to consider if they have capacity to consent. If you think someone might be too heavily impacted by drugs or alcohol, or you’re not sure, you should stop.
People with a cognitive disability that impairs their ability to understand or clearly communicate exactly what they consent to may not be able to legally consent.
Do you believe you’ve experienced sexual violence?
No one has the right to make you do anything you don’t want to do. That’s why everyone must check for consent before and during any sexual activity. If you or someone you know has had an experience where there was no consent, that is sexual violence. Know that is not your fault and help and support is available.